Wasted Nights With Trip, Grace, and Chloe
by TechnoFusion
Summary: Chloe just wanted to come over to Trip and Grace's to get drunk and start drama. Instead she's playing marriage counselor in a series of confusing fights about sex, lies, and melons.
1. Chapter 1

"_Where are the new wine glasses?" Trip asked._

"_What for?" Grace replied._

"_That should be obvious!"_

"_Oh God, Trip, don't turn this into a big production, please!"_

* * *

There was a knock at the door. A clearly intoxicated young female was knocking on the door.

"Come on, let me in." The female slurred.

* * *

"Oh, she's here!" Trip said, walking towards the door.

"What?!" Grace exclaimed. "You said she's coming an hour from now!"

"No, she's right on time!"

"Trip!"

"_I WANNA GET WASTED!" _The female voice from the other side of the door yelled.

Instead of maybe worrying about letting someone so clearly intoxicated into their home, Trip opened the front door.

"Chloe!" Trip greeted excitedly. "Ah, I'm so happy you could make it!"

"LET'S GET WASTED!" Chloe yelled back.

"Uh…"

Trip, unsure what to say, was interrupted by Grace entering.

"No, no, here we are!" Grace said with a fake smile. "Chloe! Hi, how are you? God, it's been a while!"

"Hey girl!" Chloe replied. "You lookin' fine in the booty!"

"Oh, Chloe, you've always got such nice things to say." Grace stated, trying to ignore Chloe's strangeness as she hugged her. "Well, come on in, make yourself at home!"

"By the way, I'm pregnant." Chloe said out of nowhere, sitting on the couch as Trip closed the front door.

"So, Chloe, you can help me understanding where I went wrong with my new decorating." Grace said, completely ignoring her friend's pretty big announcement, probably because this was the sixth time she had announced it this year.

"Grace, we don't need to do that." Trip replied.

"Hello?! I'm pregnant!" Chloe yelled, upset because the spotlight wasn't on her.

"Well, it's funny how after a fully day's work designing magazine ads, Grace finds the time to decorate and re-decorate." Trip said with a chuckle, knowing to ignore Chloe's fake pregnancies she came up with while intoxicated.

"Ha ha, I guess it's just the artist in me dying to get out." Grace replied. "So, about my decorating. I just feel like this corner needed something big…and bold…"

"So not Trip's penis?" Chloe said.

Trip and Grace both froze with shocked expressions on their faces.

"I kid, I kid." Chloe said with a laugh and a hiccup.

"Oh, ha ha…" Trip said.

"You're quite the kidder tonight…" Grace continued.

"Never afraid to…push our buttons…you're crazy, ha ha…"

"So, um, what were we talking about?"

Chloe then noticed something on the wall. "What's that?"

"Yeah, that's a new photo from our trip to Italy a couple of weeks ago." Trip stated, walking towards the photo as Grace sighed.

"It looks like poop." Chloe said boldly.

"_What?" _ Grace said in shock.

"Ha…Chloe, that's why we like you, you're not afraid to give us shit." Trip said, slightly regretting the decision to invite Chloe over.

"LOL, poop equals shit." Chloe stated like she was a genius, laughing.

Grace sighed as the phone started to ring.

"Oh, I'll get it…" Grace started, as Chloe got off the couch.

"No, no, no." Trip replied. "Our friend's here. We can let the answering machine get it."

Before either of them could act any further, Chloe picked up the phone.

"Chloe, no! Don't do that."

"Hello? Hello?" The voice on the phone asked. "Travis, is that you? This is your mother?"

**"STOP CALLING, WE'RE WASTED."** Chloe yelled to the voice on the phone. **"AT LEAST I'D LIKE TO BE."**

"Uhh, that's my mother, I can hear her loud voice." Trip said.

"I-I think have the wrong number…" Trip's mother said, hanging up. Chloe didn't put the phone down though.

"THIS IS MY PHONE NOW!" Chloe yelled. No reaction. After seeing she couldn't get any attention from that, she put down the phone.

"Oh God, Chloe, I hope you didn't come here tonight to be entertained…" Grace said with a sigh.

"What?" Trip replied.

"Listen to us, we're arguing in front of our friend."

This statement confused Chloe. Did they even argue once tonight? Maybe she was a bit too intoxicated to remember.

"Come on, Grace, it's not helping for you to say that…" Trip started.

"Trip, it's okay if we disagree in front of our friend."

"We're _not _disagreeing."

Trip sighed, and shook the plastic ball in his hand.

"Why not?" Trip read off the ball. Grace sighed.

"What's that?" Chloe asked, gesturing at the ball.

"Oh, that plastic ball is just Trip's little security blanket he keeps by the bar." Grace said.

"N – no, it's just one of those little joke advice toys, you know?" Trip replied, trying to defend himself.

"He's always playing with it, drives me crazy…"

"There's nothing wrong with toys." Chloe said, walking over to the shelf of figurines until she saw one with a particular phallic shape. "Grace has a toy right here."

Chloe picked up the phallic-shaped (toy?) and went towards Grace. "What is this, you naughty girl?"

"So…drinks…" Trip started.

Uh oh. What if that was Trip's toy? Didn't want to make him feel embarrassed. Chloe put the toy down and not another word was said about it.

"I should make you one of my drink inventions." Trip said, walking towards the bar.

Grace turned and whispered to Chloe. "It's a secret – Trip doesn't even like the taste of alcohol."

"What?! So, uh…Chloe, how does that sound?"

How does what sound? Chloe hadn't been listening.

"O…kay?" Chloe said. "As long as it has alcohol."

"Yeah, no, I'm going to make this drink for us!" Trip said, suddenly serious. "Our friend is here, we're going to enjoy ourselves, that's all there is to it!"

Grace let out a frustrated sigh.

"Grace, everybody loves my drinks. _Everybody!_" Trip said, slightly angry.

"Dang, Trip, you butthurt?" Chloe asked. "I said I'd take it."

"Well, of course, Trip, after all, you got enough practice when you were a real bartender!" Grace suddenly announced.

"Ohhhh snap." Chloe said.

"What?" Trip said in shock.

"In college, you were a bartender." Grace replied to him.

"How do you know about that?"

"Oh, I know you were trying to keep it a big secret, but…"

Chloe by this point had tuned them out. If she didn't get some more alcohol in her system soon she was gonna pull a Hannibal on this dysfunctional couple.

"Ah, you're driving me insane!" Trip yelled at Grace, snapping Chloe back to reality.

"No, I'm the one going insane!" Grace snapped back. "Your big bartender secret. I wish you would just be yourself!"

"Damn, you guys need some help." Chloe said with a laugh.

"Chloe, you're trying to say we've got problems, huh?" Trip asked, getting in Chloe's face. "That something is wrong with our marriage?"

"Yeah, did I stutter?" Chloe snapped back.

"Chloe, I need to ask you something." Grace interrupted.

"Grace…" Trip started to interrupt.

"Trip, let me ask our guest a question. Chloe, yes or no…when you get married…"

Blah, blah, blah. Drink, drink, drink.

"Yeah." Chloe said, not having heard the question.

"_What?!" _Grace asked in shock. "Oh, yes, that's fine…that's fine…"

A pause.

"Just admit it, Trip, admit it, we have a shitty marriage! We've never really been happy from day one! God damn it!"

"OHHH SHE MAD." Chloe tormented as Grace walked away.

"Yeah, go on, go away!" Trip snapped at Grace as she walked to the kitchen. "I can't freaking take this!"

"So, um…" Chloe started. "Do you wanna get it on?"

Chloe leaned in and kissed Trip.

"Hey, don't…come on, come on!" Trip snapped.

"I know you want it." Chloe replied, coming closer.

"Chloe, this hasn't ever happened before!"

"I don't care, let's get it on!"

Chloe's attempt to turn this story into a bad porno was interrupted by Grace suddenly reentering. "Chloe, Trip is just so…"

"Oh, so we're talking about me, are we?" Trip snapped at Grace.

"Chloe, it's time that Trip just finally admits that our marriage…"

"Grace, no…"

"Our marriage is not…"

"Stop it, stop it!" Trip yelled angrily, then letting out a sigh.

"Look, let's not focus on just me or you, let's talk about us." Grace said. "Trip, can't you see, it's the way you speak, the way you talk to me…"

"I'm not allowed to be angry?" Trip asked.

"You tell me what to do, you don't listen!" Grace yelled at Trip.

"You have anger issues, Trip." Chloe said, suddenly interrupting.

"Chloe, you're saying that I'm…angry?" Trip asked.

"No shit, Sherlock. Can we get wasted now?"

Trip was starting to get pissed. "Chloe, does it look like I want to fix you drinks right now?"

"Yes."

Trip sighed. "Chloe, if there's something about me, just tell me what it is!"

"You're gay!" Chloe said boldly. And it probably could've been the truth too, from the way Trip acted around the phallic object that Chloe picked up earlier.

"No, don't criticize me anymore, it's just going to turn this even more ugly!" Trip yelled to Chloe.

"How is gay a criticism? Homophobe."

"No, let's switch to talking about Grace." Trip said, getting uncomfortable with all this talk about sexuality.

"No, you like guy butts, Trip." Chloe said, not going to let Trip dodge the question.

"Sex, sex, sex, why is sex such a big deal?" Grace interrupted angrily.

"What?" Trip replied.

"Why do people always talk about it so much, when it just makes so many people so unhappy?"

"Do you give it to her good, Trip?" Chloe asked. "Would Trip do better with a man?"

"How can you say…uhh…" Trip interrupted again, before switching the subject YET AGAIN. "Grace, even though you're now a creative director at work, you're not an artist. I'm sorry, you're not."

"Chloe, you see, this is what I've had to put up with for ten goddamn years!" Grace yelled.

"Trip, dump this ho and marry me!" Chloe finally yelled to Trip, though mainly because she needed someone to watch her upcoming baby (assuming she was having one and it wasn't just another bad hangover).

"Look, if we're going to talk about marriage, all I can say is, it doesn't turn out the way you expect it to." Grace said, somehow ignoring the fact that Chloe was trying to steal her husband. You'd swear that this couple had selective hearing.

"Grace…" Trip interrupted.

"I'm not saying marriage is a bad idea or anything, I'm just…"

"Grace, no…"

"Grace, are you hiding something?" Chloe finally asked, looking to get this conversation moving so she could drink.

"Chloe, you're saying that I'm…afraid?" Grace asked

"WHAT?! WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?!"

"Where? Ah, you want to know more…"

***facepalm***

"Look, let's talk about Trip now." Grace said.

"Grace, c'mon, we can go back to the way it was when we started out…" Trip started.

"TRIP HAS AFFAIRS WITH MEN." Chloe interrupted.

"No, no, don't talk about infidelity, come on…" Trip started. "We all know it's wrong, we don't have to…"

"No, stop it, this is ridiculous, don't talk about this kind of thing…"

"You're nervous, Trip!"

Trip let out a frustrated sigh.

"I bet Maria was a man, too!" Chloe yelled.

"Hey, no, don't…uh, try to accuse me of doing anything with Maria…Grace, don't even think of that…" Trip said in fragments nervously. "Our friend has just gone too far this time."

"Grace, Trip clearly likes dudes." Chloe said, trying to comfort Grace. "Leave him."

"Oh God, Chloe, if you take his side in this…I swear I'll walk out the door…" Grace said angrily.

"Trip likes boys." Chloe continued, hoping it'd get to her.

"Okay, that's it, no more of this bullshit!" Trip snapped. "Chloe, I know what you're hinting at, okay? About me…about our marriage…do you really want the truth? Huh?"

"Yes." Chloe said. "That you're gay."

"Grace?" Trip asked.

"Yes." Grace replied.

"Chloe, you see, I've been playing close attention to what you've been saying tonight. You've been pushing me. And I wonder, are you really my friend or not?"

"LOL NO I USE YOU FOR DRINKS."

"Trip!" Grace interrupted.

"Chloe, I ask you this, yes or no…" Trip started. "Do you really think that kissing me, praising Grace, criticizing me, saying that Grace is afraid, telling me that I'm angry…"

Chloe had enough of this. No one was giving her drinks and they were treating her like she was Dr. Phil or something. Or Ms. Phil. Whatever.

She knew a way out of this.

"MELON MELON MELON." Chloe yelled, going towards the door.

"Okay, Chloe…" Trip started.

Chloe hit the elevator button. "Hasta la vista, bitches!"

Time to crash somebody else's house to drink.

* * *

**A/N: This is actually 80 percent one of my actual Façade logs, however it ended way cooler here than it did in the actual game…the actual game just froze up on me because I interrupted Trip too much while he was going through his long speech.**

**Next chapter, Chloe comes over to try to drink again and learns a shocking secret about Trip.**


	2. Chapter 2

_For whatever reason, Trip and Grace thought it would be a good idea to invite crazy, drunken Chloe over again, even though last time she left screaming "MELON MELON MELON" and nothing of value really happened._

_"Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?" Grace asked Trip._

_Knock knock._

_"Oh, she's here!" Trip said excitedly. For some reason he was always happy to see Chloe._

_"What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!" For some reason Grace never has her shit together in time._

_"No, she's supposed to be here now!"_

_"God, Trip!"_

* * *

_"Let me in." _The girl whined, knocking the door excessively until Trip opened it.

* * *

"Chloe!" Trip said excitedly. "Hey! It's been too long!"

"Wassup, Trip, my homie?" Chloe asked, slightly slurring her words.

"Yeah, hi!" Trip replied, trying to make this night go well and hoping Chloe wasn't _too _intoxicated.

"No, no, here we are!" A familiar voice said, as Grace came out from the kitchen.

"Chloe!" Grace said. "Hi, how are you? I'm so happy to see you after so long!"

"Yeah, yeah, how are you doing?" Trip continued, trying to get conversation moving along.

"Hey, boo, you lookin' fine." Chloe said to Grace with a giggle. Grace blushed but brushed it off.

"Oh, Chloe, that's so nice of you to say!" Grace stated. "By the way, you look wonderful! Come on in, make yourself at home!"

"Let's get those drinks!" Chloe yelled, walking towards the bar and almost snatching the drinks for herself before Trip intervened.

"Yeah, uh, drinks…" Trip said, getting the bottles before Chloe could out of fear they'd have to rush her to the hospital for alcohol poisoning. _Again. _"Good news. I just loaded the bar with the real quality stuff. Only the best for my guests!"

"AWW YEAH." Chloe slurred, laughing.

"Y – yeah, yeah, time for a drink. What would you like? How about something fun, like a cosmopolitan?"

"Sure."

"Beautiful!"

"No, no, Chloe…" Grace stated, giving Trip a signal he should stay out of this. "Trip's getting a little carried away. Maybe you'd just like some juice, or a mineral water?"

"Noooo!" Chloe whined. "Cosmopolitan!"

"Alright! That's what I wanted to hear!" Trip said excitedly, clearly oblivious to Grace's signals. "It'll just take me a quick second here."

"That's Trip, always happiest when he's making fancy drinks." Grace said with an obvious fake smile and a hint of bitterness.

"Grace, I assume you want your usual; a lovely, very cold glass of Chardonnay?"

"Yes. A glass of Chardonnay would be nice." Grace replied.

"Oh, Chloe, take a look at this picture I put up from our trip to Italy a couple of weeks ago…" Trip said, walking towards the picture. He thought maybe this time Chloe would be willing to listen instead of saying it looked like "poop", then laughing about the word "poop."

On the table was Grace's glass of Chardonnay. While Grace wasn't looking, Chloe took the glass and chugged the drink. She knew Trip would only make her one drink, such a stick in the mud. So she had gotten a D.U.I. once or twice, big deal!

"Chloe, come over and sit on the couch with me." Grace said, redirecting Chloe's attention from Trip so she wouldn't try to shag him again.

"No, hold on now…" Trip replied.

"Trip, darling, your obsession with that photo is making our friend uncomfortable."

Trip sighed. "Well, this trip to Italy was meant to be our second honeymoon."

"Don't exaggerate, it was just a weekend getaway." Grace replied with a sigh. "Oh God, Chloe, I hope you didn't come here tonight to be entertained…"

"What?"

"Trip, have you noticed, we're fighting in front of our friend!"

"Why are you guys so hostile?" Chloe interrupted with a hiccup and a giggle.

Trip froze and got a weird nervous expression on his face. "Wait…you think I'm…angry? Hehe…Chloe, you're really joking around tonight, aren't you?"

Chloe sighed. No matter what she tried to give Trip and Grace advice on, they'd take it as a joke just because she was the ditzy alcoholic.

Oh well. Chloe turned around and grabbed her own drink, chugging it as well. She was going to need to get up to impossible blood alcohol levels to put up with these two.

_"Ugh, you're driving me insane!" _Trip suddenly snapped, making Chloe jump. "Goddamn Italy trip…you're never satisfied with anything, Grace!"

"Chloe, can you believe this?" Grace asked Chloe, clearly wanting her to pick a side. However, Chloe knew that if she did pick a side, things were going to get even uglier.

"Goddamn second honeymoon…" Grace continued. "Trip, our whole marriage, you're so…_controlling!"_

"Alright, you know what..." Trip started, turning to Chloe. "Chloe, I'm going to ask you something…"

"Trip…"

"Grace, let me ask our guest a question. If one person in a marriage gives the other person advice, and that advice is taken – years later, can you be blamed for that?"

"Um, yeah?" Chloe said, not entirely aware of what the question was; now shaking the white wine bottle trying to get it open.

"What?!" Trip shouted in disbelief.

"Alcohol!"

"Chloe, does it look like I want to fix you a drink right now?!"

"YES."

And while Trip was lecturing her, she took his drink too. What? What problem? She didn't have a problem. They were the ones with the problem!

"Ugh, I keep trying to help you, Grace, but you cut me off!" Trip started yelling, going into the kitchen. "You cut me out of your life! _God damn it!"_

"Yeah, just get away from me!" Grace snapped at Trip as he was running away. "Oh, God!"

With that, Chloe felt it was a fine opportunity to try to hug Grace, giving her a light slap on the buttocks in the process. Just her way of comforting.

"No, wait, please…" Grace started, before being interrupted by a familiar voice.

_"Grace, what the hell are you saying about me in there?"_

"I wasn't talking about you! Chloe, we're not normally like this…"

"Yeah, we just need more alcohol." Chloe replied with a giggle.

"Chloe, from what you said before about marriage…I think that tells us something about Trip."

"Oh, so we're talking about _me _now!" Trip loudly announced, reentering the room.

"What?"

"Grace, even though you're a creative director at work, you're not an artist!"

"Maybe she should draw you naked." Chloe joked. "It'd be a good way to bond."

"Hey, quit the flirting!" Trip snapped, having enough of Chloe for one night.

"I'M NOT FLIRTING."

"Okay, stop, I can't do this anymore, goddammit!" Grace shouted. "Chloe, I know what you're hinting at; about me, about art…do you two want to hear the honest truth, huh?"

"Whatever." Chloe replied.

"Trip?"

"Yes." Trip stated.

"Chloe, I've actually been paying close attention to what you've been saying tonight." Chloe stated. "You've been pushing me tonight. And it makes me wonder, are you really my friend or not?"

"Grace!"

"Chloe, come on, yes or no, do you really think that…"

By this point Chloe had gone completely deaf. She could barely feel her face from all the alcohol she chugged, and Grace was going over the same old, same old.

"Is all of that arguing intended to mean something? I just want a yes or a no." Grace said at the last piece of her long rant, which was all Chloe managed to hear.

"Yeah." Chloe replied.

"Okay."

Grace suddenly gestured towards her painting on the wall. "I painted this."

"Bullshit." Trip snapped back at her.

"I _am _an artist, Trip. Fuck you!"

**"OHHHHHHHHHHH." **Chloe shouted. **"YOU GOT OWNED, TRIP."**

Trip just ignored Chloe and kept his focus on Grace. "You've been secretly painting?"

"Every time you go on a goddamn business trip, I paint! So don't give me any more of your 'you could never be an artist' crap!"

Trip sighed. "I'm going to give you the truth too, Grace."

He took a deep breath. "Grace…I've been having an affair."

"Oh, shit." Chloe said loudly. She actually didn't see that one coming.

"Oh my god." Grace said in disbelief.

Wait a second, Chloe _had _seen that one coming!

"With the client." Trip continued.

"Maria…"

* * *

_Previously in chapter 1:_

_"Hey, no, don't…uh, try to accuse me of doing anything with Maria…Grace, don't even think of that…" Trip said in fragments nervously. "Our friend has just gone too far this time."_

* * *

_"You lying shit!"_ Chloe shouted. "I asked you about Maria!"

"It's over now, though." Trip continued, still ignoring Chloe. "And I really, really regret it."

"Oh my God…" Grace said, still in disbelief. "Chloe, I…this changes everything…"

"Yes, it does change everything." Trip said, turning his body in the opposite direction. "I think it's over."

"Trip, what…"

"No! It's over, Grace, can't you see that?"

With the official confirmation it was over, Chloe jumped in and forced her lips on Trip, who seemed briefly entranced but quickly snapped himself out of it.

"And no, Chloe, hold on…" Trip continued.

"Yes, and like I said…" Grace said. "I am an artist, but you can't see that…"

"Wanna do it in the backroom?" Chloe propositioned to Trip.

"Trip, no, I…we…" Grace continued stammering.

"Trip, are we gonna do it or not?" Chloe continued whining. "I'm wearing new lingerie!"

Trip ignored them both and opened the front door.

_"Trip!" _Chloe shouted as Trip exited.

"Well, um, screw you, I'm leaving too." Chloe said, going for the door. "Thanks for the liquor!"

With that, the fates of Chloe and Trip were left unknown. Actually, Chloe just went and got drunk at a random bar, and Trip became a melon salesman in Taiwan. Don't ask.

* * *

**A/N: And that's the end. What do you guys think? Should I do more Façade stories? R&R is requested, as always. **


End file.
